


You Have Your Father's Eyes

by thegrassisgreener



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (Harry doesn't die calm tf down), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arguments, Harry Potter is very confused, Harry has James's eyes, Harry has Lily's hair, Marauders, Red-Haired Harry Potter, Secret love, Spoilers for the later books/movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25734712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrassisgreener/pseuds/thegrassisgreener
Summary: “In love?” Harry interrupted, his breath coming in short bursts. “Snape was in love with my mom.”Sirius opened his mouth but shut it quickly. He nodded slowly.OrHarry tries to find out more about his parents. No one will give him a straight answer.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	You Have Your Father's Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katlover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katlover/gifts).



> Hey hey!  
> Wow, guess who had two thumbs and hasn't posted in forever? This giiiiiirrrrl.  
> Anyway, if you're a regular reader of mine, you may think it's rather strange to post Harry Potter fanfiction since I'm mainly known for my BNHA stuff. And to that I say, you're right. But my friend, Kat, got me into Harry Potter this quarantine and I. Am. Obsessed.  
> You'll probably be seeing more Harry Potter stuff, but not to worry, I will still be posting anime stuff as well. But I just wanna branch out, ya know?  
> If you're following Say Something Else, sorry sis, but the next chapter will just come out at some point. I've kind of hit a wall with the story, and I don't know when I'll update it, but I do plan to finish it. So look forward to it, but I just don't know when.  
> Anyway, yeah! Enjoy this. And please read the endnotes if you get through it, because I wanna explain some stuff and some of my thoughts. So stick around for that if you're interested.  
> Okay, bye. Much love!

Whenever Harry Potter met someone who knew his parents, James and Lily, they always told them the same thing: You have your mother’s hair. 

It was strange to Harry, as flaming red hair was usually an indicator of a Weasley in the Wizarding World as Harry soon found out, but everyone who had seen Lily’s luscious locks of red would recognize them on Harry too. 

Lupin had probably explained it best. He’d chuckled at first when Harry had asked him why everyone said it, even Lupin saying it just seconds prior to Harry’s question. The professor had looked out of the window, a flitter of nostalgia in his eyes. 

“Lilly’s hair wasn’t fiery like the Weasleys,” he explained. “It was darker - kind of pinkish, almost maroon - and was always brushed down and tame. Anyone could spot her in a crowd.”

Sirius had given a similar response when Harry had asked him the same thing, although he also mentioned that when James and Lily started dating, James would often twirl his fingers through her hair with a dreamy look on his face. Sirius promptly gagged after her said it, which made Harry laugh. He also mentioned that even though the color was the same, Harry kept his hair far messier, and if Lily saw what he did with her hair gene, she’d probably faint. Harry laughed even louder at that, doubling over with tears at the corners of his eyes. 

There were many people who talked about his parents with a light tone in their voice, but it was Molly Weasley who didn’t bother to hide her sadness about them. 

Harry was staying at the Weasley’s for a while a few weeks before the beginning of his 4th year, and one night when sleep wouldn’t come to him, he had gone downstairs and sat by a cold window. 

Mrs. Weasley waddled down the stairs, barely awake and yawning, and spotted Harry. She gave him a small smile and sat in a chair next to him. 

“Are you alright, dear?” she asked, putting her hand on Harry’s arm. 

The boy gave a shrug and watched the woman’s eyes fill with an emotion that he didn’t recognize. 

“You know,” Mrs. Weasley began. “You look a lot like your father, but you have your mother’s hair.”

Harry looked over, prepared to tell her he’d heard that a lot, but she added, “And her freckles.”

“Freckles?”

Mrs. Weasley gave a chuckle. “Oh yes. Your mother had just a sprinkle of them across her nose. She always said she wanted more like me, but I always told her I wanted less like her. She told me once that if they ever invented a spell for it, that we could trade.”

Harry looked up at her curiously. “I didn’t know you were friends.”

“We talked sometimes, but we weren’t very close. She hung around the boys a lot, first that one mean-looking boy, and then your father and his friends. But she was always very kind to me, and would be there for me if I needed it.” 

Mrs. Weasley looked out the window, seeming to be content in the quiet of the night. 

“I wish,” she said in a very small voice, almost as if she didn’t intend Harry to hear it. “I wish sometimes that we were closer. James and she were good people.”

Her eyes welled with droplets, and she wiped her face quickly. “Best be off to bed,” she told Harry as she got up. “You’ll need sleep to grow into a strong young man. Not that you aren’t already.” She added with a smile then hurried back up the stairs. Harry pondered this, and thought that she had been the first person to show sadness about them in front of him. He felt satisfied with the conversation, and then he paused. Mrs. Weasley had said another peculiar thing.

_ Mean-looking boy?  _ No one had ever mentioned  _ that  _ before.

The question had slowly eaten away at Harry over the whole next year before he finally got his answer. 

He’d asked Lupin about it one afternoon when he’d come to visit him and Sirius. They were having tea, and Sirius had gotten up to use the bathroom. Harry loved Sirius and knew he could trust him with anything, but he was sure that if the subject was touchy, Lupin would give him a straighter answer. 

Lupin had nearly dropped his mug at the question. 

“W-why-” He was steadying his cup on the table and clearing his throat. “Why do you ask?”

“Mrs. Weasley had mentioned him when I was talking to her about my parents. I didn’t really know Lily had other friends before you and the Marauders. I always assumed that you’d just always known each other and had been friends for - well - forever, really.” Harry watched Lupin’s face twitch as the gears turned in his brain. 

Lupin waited a moment, then cleared his throat again. “Well, we had been friends for forever. Lily had other friends - of course - but we didn’t know them too well. I didn’t - umm - I didn’t really know the Slytherin she hung out with. It was before we became friends with her - around fourth year, I believe-”

“Slytherin?” Harry’s eyes widened. “My mom was friends with a Slytherin?”

“And who told you  _ that _ ?”

Harry’s godfather had suddenly arrived, practically fuming with anger. 

“Sirius! I was just telling Harry-”

“Nothing,” Sirius announced suddenly. “You were telling him nothing. Lily was never friends with a Slytherin. She only hung out with Gryffindors.”

Lupin looked taken aback at Sirius’s words and Harry suddenly felt very cold. Lupin nodded slowly and cleared his throat again. 

Sirius sat down and he scratched his head. “Uh- Harry? Have I ever told you about the time we discovered a secret passage to Dumbledore’s office?”

“No!” Harry said excitedly, relieved that Sirius no longer looked like he was ready to flip a table. “Really? Where is it? What happened?”

Sirius smiled and leaned in, as if someone would hear. “Well, it all started when Prongs decided we should go for a midnight sneak-out…”

After the incident with Sirius and Lupin, Harry decided it was probably better for him to not bring up the mysterious Slytherin friend with anyone else. If it was a subject that even  _ Sirius  _ didn’t like to talk about, then the Boy-Who-Lived thought that he probably wouldn’t want to know the answer to his questions anyway. That was until Dumbledore himself had given him a little more to chew on. 

It was in his 5th year when Umbridge was running around like she owned the place. Harry had done the one thing that almost no other student was allowed to do, and he had burst into Dumbledore’s office during first term. 

“Professor, sir,” he said as he came in, a little breathless from running to the office. Dumbledore got up, a curious expression on his face. “Yes, Harry?”

Harry took a moment to catch his breath, straightened up, then went off. “How can Umbridge be allowed that job?! She’s  _ awful _ . She hates laughter and smiling of any kind, and I’m beginning to think she hates  _ kids  _ in general. She’s stricter than Snape and McGonagall combined!”

Dumbledore’s eyes were wide like saucers, but he showed no signs of being offended by Harry saying any of this or just coming into his office to scream about his DADA teacher. He looked more amused than anything. 

“A teacher that rival’s Snape’s own strictness?” Dumbledore stroked his beard. “How curious…” 

Harry laughed a little, but the fleeting joy quickly faded. He paced the floor. “How is she allowed to work here?! I swear, if the Marauders were still here, she would’ve been chased out of the school by a swarm of bees by now. Compliments of Sirius and James.”

Dumbledore laughed too. “Now now, Harry. I think if they had attempted that, Lily would’ve stepped in. She was often encouraging of their shenanigans, but I think she would’ve drawn the line at a prank that would physically harm a teacher. She did pick up a value or two from Severus, after all.”

Harry stopped pacing and froze. It felt like he’d just taken a Bludger to the head. “What?”

“Severus was quite respectful of teachers, and I think Lily took after him in that regard. She would not have been pleased if James and Sirius had tried to harm one.”

“No, I mean-” Harry looked at Dumbledor for a sign that he was joking, but he was well aware that his Headmaster would not joke about something like that “-Snape? Why would she pick up something from him?”

The old wizard’s brows rose with amusement. “Well, they were friends of course. Close as could be. They had known each other since childhood, and only really drifted apart sometime during their time at Hogwarts.”

Harry’s jaw had dropped. 

“Sirius!” Harry yelled as soon as he shut the door to Sirius’ house, feeling a chill run down his spine from the quick switch in temperature from freezing to pleasantly warm.

Sirius’ head peeked around the corner. He was wearing an apron and holding a wooden spoon. “Harry! Welcome home, I’ve just started making Christmas cookies and I thought you’d want to help me decorate them.”

Harry dropped his bag and rushed up to Sirius. He followed him into the kitchen, trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say. His godfather had started stirring a bowl. 

“I’m so glad you decided to come home for the holidays. How’s school? Umbridge still giving you trouble?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that my mom and Snape were friends?”

Sirius dropped his spoon. 

He turned around, very slowly, with his brows furrowed and a frown spread across his face. 

“Who told you?” He said slowly.

“That doesn’t matter!” Harry spat out. “You knew they were friends, and yet you lied to me and told me that she was never friends with a Slytherin!”

Sirius picked up the spoon and threw it in the sink. He gripped the edge of the counter. “Well, what was I supposed to say?!”

“Oh! I don’t know… maybe just the truth?”

Sirius made a face and then turned around. “I didn’t feel like it was a good idea for you to know. I’m your guardian, so I make decisions for you sometimes. Lily and Snape had a complicated history, and it’s not something that’s very fun to talk about.”

“Still!” Harry pressed. “I would’ve wanted to know! Snape treats me like rubbish and I always thought it was because of you guys. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that maybe he lost his only friend who happened to be my mom, and it might be upsetting that now he has to see me all the time.”

“You don’t know that she was his only friend.”

Harry ground his teeth. “Really? Have you  _ met  _ Snape? He’s not exactly Mr. Popular.”

Sirius sighed heavily and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Okay, now you know. Is that it?”

“No! You still haven’t told me  _ why you didn’t tell me _ .”

“BECAUSE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER!”

The room was silent, the tension so thick that it could’ve been cut with a knife. Harry felt weak at the knees and his pupils were blown wide. 

Sirius suddenly turned around, looking very guilty. “Harry, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. I told you, it’s not something that’s fun to talk about-”

“In love?” Harry interrupted, his breath coming in short bursts. “Snape was in love with my mom.”

Sirius opened his mouth but shut it quickly. He nodded slowly. 

Harry walked over to the kitchen table and took a seat. Sirius took off his apron and sat across from him. 

“I never knew for sure, but it was obvious. Everyone noticed it,” Sirius explained. “He would always hang around her when they were friends, and if James ever came by, he always got very defensive. They had a kind of… falling out in fourth year. He was upset, but he became absolutely furious when Lily and James started dating. Your dad was a good guy, he always tried to look sympathetic whenever Snape pushed past them or gave James a nasty glance.”

Harry took in the information, trying to fit it into pieces into a mental puzzle. He’d never thought that Snape had been so intertwined with his parents, more specifically his mom. 

After Sirius had finished, he gave Harry a smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when you first asked.”

Harry wasn’t sure whether he was sorry because he’d rather Harry have found it out directly from him or because he was upset that he had yelled, but nevertheless when Sirius got up, Harry threw his arms around him and pulled him into a hug. Sirius hugged back, and they spent the evening baking, decorating, and eating Christmas cookies. 

The blood that was oozing across the floor was almost sickening, but what made Harry sick was that he was holding a dying man while he watched the life drain from his eyes. 

Severus Snape looked defeated, but at peace, in his final few moments. He had told Harry to take his tears, take them to the pensieve. He was sure Sirius’ theory would be confirmed in Snape’s memories, but he was curious about what else he would find in his mind. He complied, handing the vial to Hermione after it contained several tears, and then asked Ron and Hermione to leave. 

When they were alone, Snape almost-smiled at Harry. His neck and wound were uncomfortably warm around Harry’s hand, but he didn’t dare pull away. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry mumbled, not quite sure what he was sorry for. 

But Snape seemed to understand. He nodded a little. “Me too,” he croaked. 

Harry heard a loud noise and quickly looked outside. Snape stirred. 

“Look…. Look at me…” he choked out. 

Harry complied, his eyes meeting Snape’s, which were now rapidly greying.

Severus smiled, and it was a real smile. Then he said something Harry wasn’t expecting. 

“You have your father’s eyes,” he whispered, and the life drained out of him. 

_ The Pensieve showed memories of Lily Evans. Her strawberry red hair, her green and sparkling eyes, her freckled nose, her pale skin. She talked and smiled with Snape. She called him “Sev”. They got their letters together. They rode the Hogwarts Express in the same compartment. They were inseparable… until…  _

_ James Potter. With shimmering brown eyes and messy, jet black hair. With milk chocolate skin, flushed cheeks, and wiry glasses.  _

_ Lily became a Gryffindor, along with all the Marauders. Snape became a Slytherin, along with Lucius Malfoy and several other kids who would later become Death Eaters.  _

_ Lily and Snape were close, but friends. Only friends. There were moments when their faces were close or their hands would brush, but neither made a move. It looked like neither of them wanted to, or that the thought hadn’t even crossed either of their minds.  _

_ The Marauders and Lily slowly drifted close, and Snape and Lily very slowly drifted apart. James was a new variable in Lily’s life, and her cheeks would grow a little pinker when he was around, but he didn’t seem as affected by her presence.  _

_ He was affected by another presence, however.  _

_ When Snape approached Lily when she was with the Marauders, James would grow pink as Lily would, and when Snape and Lily left, James would be a little quieter afterward.  _

_ This was when the teasing started, just small things at first. Plucking the back of Snape’ head in class or tripping him in the hallways. Snape would hold back smiles at the actions. When the other Marauders started teasing too, Snape stopped smiling. The pranks got more intense, and Lily drew further from Snape.  _

_ One night, James was running through the forbidden forest after Snape, who was told a rare kind of plant had appeared somewhere deep in the forest. James had caught up to him, grabbed him, and ran back out of the forest with their hands intertwined. Snape asked James why he did it. James grew very red and ran back towards the castle. When he was out of sight, Snape turned just as red and sat on the ground to bury his head in his knees.  _

_ Lily and Snape had stopped being friends, and Snape saw James less and less, except for when he was being pranked. One morning, when the sun was barely in the sky and Snape was sitting out under a tree, James had come up to him. Snape had stood up suddenly.  _

_ “What are you doing here?” Snape hissed.  _

_ James looked at him, his mouth fixed in a deep frown. Snape scoffed. “If you’re here to prank me this early in the morning, don’t bother. You’ll be able to embarrass me in front of everyone later.”  _

_ James was still silent, and Snape was about to pick up his book to go somewhere else but then he was suddenly being pushed against the tree and being kissed like tomorrow wouldn’t come.  _

_ They pulled away after a messy and uncoordinated kiss that made Snape’s heart beat faster than he believed was healthy. James was still holding him by the waist, looking into his eyes. Then, in a moment, he was sprinting away. Snape touched his lips and sank to the ground.  _

_ When he got to breakfast, the Gryffindor table was howling madly. For a terrifying moment, Snape thought that James had told everyone… _

_ Then he saw Lily kissing James.  _

_ James had asked out Lily at breakfast as soon as she sat down. Lily had said yes.  _

_ It was years before Snape saw James after they graduated. Snape avoided it when he could, and even when he really shouldn’t have.  _

_ They were finally forced to see each other when Lily had asked for a potion from him, which he said yes to for a reason that was beyond him, and James had come to pick it up.  _

_ Snape’s hands shook as he handed over the potion.  _

_ “How are you?” James asked, a small smile playing at his lips.  _

_ Snape suddenly felt very angry. “Why would you care?” He snapped.  _

_ James didn’t flinch. “There was a time when I cared about you a lot.” _

_ “If there was ever such a time, it ended long ago.” _

_ “It may not be the same as it was back then,” James said slowly. “But I do still care.” _

_ James had left, and Snape had almost cried. Almost. Almost, because Snape didn’t cry.  _

_ But he definitely did when he was faced with the body of the man he once loved, lying lifeless on the ground of the Potter home. Snape heard a baby crying as he cradled James’ body in his arms like he had wanted to do so many times.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, you made it to the end of the story... or you just skipped to the end but either way, you're here. If you did make it through this angsty-ass piece, congrats, I hope I put you through a considerable amount of emotional pain. You're welcome. (I'm kidding btw.)  
> If you're confused, let me explain, because I realize it may be the slightest bit unclear. Lily and Snape were close friends but had a falling out like in canon, but Snape and James started developing feelings for each other. (In this, Snape is pretty dang gay and James is kind of confused, but definitely has feelings for Snape which make him even more confused.) Everyone that knows them believed that Snape was in love with Lily because of the circumstances, and Snape kind of found out about this and was like "Uh, sure" because he felt like it was better than admitting he was in love with a man who also happened to be his childhood bully. Yikes.  
> (Also, notice the description. --> No one will give him STRAIGHT ANSWER. --> Yes, I know, I'm hilarious.)  
> I also came up with the idea for this story while talking to my friend a few months ago, and then just wrote it last night from like 1 to 3 AM non stop. And that kind of shoved me out of writers block, so that's cool. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this piece.  
> I love you all. Stay safe.


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